The “Just Trust Me” Fried Bologna Breakfast Doughnutwich

When Mike and I went to the North Carolina State Fair last year, I had two goals: pet as many dirty, adorable barnyard animals as possible, and eat as much ridiculous, unhealthy food as possible. High on my list was the Krispy Kreme burger, an admittedly gimmicky new sandwich being marketed (and mocked) across the country. The burger was just like any other burger, except that it was served on two Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the place of a bun. I was sure I was going to absolutely love every bite.

YES.

My first goal was readily accomplished. Mike and I stumbled around until we spotted the closest pettable livestock, whereupon we bought a bag of carrots and subjected our fingers to great peril. We fed goats, sheep, llamas, and even a camel or two. Is it weird that I think there may have been a buffalo in there? I might’ve made that part up.

Anyway, the animals pranced around, joyously accepting our scritches until we ran out of carrots. During this fiasco, I may or may not have illicitly scaled a fence to feed a goat that had been head-butted out of the way by his siblings. Put it this way: I didn’t get caught. Or head-butted.

My second goal turned out to be more complicated. We nibbled around the fair — corn dogs, cheesesteaks — until we finally found the vendor selling the notorious Krispy Kreme Burger. We slipped in line and waited our turn for greatness. When I got up to the booth, the cashier asked me what I’d like on the burger. That was the first sign of trouble.

I hate being asked what I want on my sandwich. Before you decide I’m one of those insufferably picky diners (okay, you might decide that anyway), let me explain. I go to a restaurant to taste a dish someone else has conceived of and prepared. I want the creator of a sandwich to decide what ingredients should be on it to create the right overall flavor. I don’t know what to put on my sandwich to make it taste like the dish they envisioned! And if I wanted to taste my own vision — to create my own sandwich — by golly, I wouldn’t have bothered coming to a restaurant to do it! (Side note: This is why I never go to Subway anymore.) (Side note #2: I think italics make people sound snootier. Don’t you agree?)

So when the cashier asked me to construct my own version of the Krispy Kreme Burger, I was understandably nervous. Would it taste okay with lettuce and tomato? Would mayonnaise be appropriate on it? Mustard? How about cheese? I was stumped and a little miffed, but I ordered the burger with lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise. Mike and I fought the crowds and found a seat by a kiddie ride to enjoy our culinary adventure.

Mike lasted two bites before he handed me the sandwich. I thought he was just giving me a turn, but it turns out he was down for the count. “I don’t like it,” he declared, wiping doughnut glaze off his fingers with an air of finality.

Really? After hours of waiting and pushing through sweaty throngs of people, you give the sandwich two bites’ worth of a chance? I wasn’t going to be discouraged so easily. I grabbed that sandwich, took a giant bite, and–

It was okay.

The pulsing carnival music from the ride in front of us suddenly seemed a little louder, a little more grating. After hours of waiting and pushing through sweaty throngs of people, the Krispy Kreme Burger was just OKAY?!

I debated in my head: would it have been better without the lettuce and tomato? Was it the mayo that made it so-so? I polished the sandwich off pensively, still disappointed with its mediocrity. Mike and I headed off defeated, in search of better treats (don’t worry, some deep-fried cheesecake later cheered us up).

The other day, though, I had a stroke of inspiration. I was planning on creating a fancy breakfast for Mike and I’d been craving a delicious Southern staple: fried bologna biscuits. Before you start in about how you don’t like bologna: I don’t like bologna either. But fried bologna is an entirely different experience (particularly with little cheese, some yellow mustard, and for breakfast, a fried egg). I knew I didn’t have time to squeeze biscuit making into my schedule, though.

Like a flash of brilliance straight from the heavens, I realized that these flavors — fried bologna with cheese and a gooey fried egg — were the exact sort of flavors that would’ve rocked that Krispy Kreme bun. Instead of the muddy, inexact flavor profile of the State Fair burger, this sandwich would have a bold salty and sweet combination in addition to the gooey, mild saucing of the egg. Far from a gimmicky novelty item you might dare your friends to eat, this sandwich was gonna be delicious.

And it was. In fact, unlike its burger cousin, it was more delicious in real life than it was in my imagination. I’d wait in line behind a thousand other sweaty fair-goers for this baby. Thankfully, though, I don’t have to. It takes about 5 ingredients and maybe 15 minutes to make your own in the comfort of your kitchen.

So listen, JUST TRUST ME! I know it sounds a little weird. I know it packs a caloric-punch. But I promise it’s an incredible breakfast treat. Pick a special weekend, scope out the “Hot Doughnuts Now” sign at your local Krispy Kreme, and try it for yourself.

What’s your favorite weird indulgence?

The “Just Trust Me” Fried Bologna Breakfast Doughnutwich

---

Recipe by: Willow Bird Baking
Yields: 2 doughnutwiches

This breakfast “doughnutwich” has the absolute perfect balance of salty and sweet. Pillow-light Krispy Kreme glazed doughnuts act as a bun for savory fried bologna, a slice of cheese, and a gooey fried egg. Make this your new special occasion breakfast. It’s a little out of the ordinary, but so incredible!

Ingredients:
2 eggs
4 Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnuts*
2 tablespoons butter
2 slices bologna
2 slices American cheese

Directions:
Lay 2 doughnuts out on a plate. Cut a slit from the middle of each slice of bologna to the edge (so it won’t curl). Heat a skillet over medium-high heat and melt 1 tablespoon of butter in it. Place the slices of bologna in the frying pan. Laugh at how they start to look like little PacMen. Fry them until they’re browning on one side and then flip them. Add a slice of cheese to the top of each piece of bologna and continue frying until bottom is browned. Place the slices briefly onto a paper towel-lined plate to drain off the excess butter, and then place them onto the 2 waiting doughnuts.

Melt the last tablespoon of butter in your skillet. Break one egg at a time into the pan and fry it to your desired doneness (I’d like to make a pitch for over-easy or -medium, since the gooey yolk is delicious in this sandwich!) Place the fried egg briefly on the paper-towel lined plate to drain off the excess butter, and then place one on top of each slice of bologna and cheese. Top each doughnutwich with another doughnut as the “top bun” and serve immediately.

*Note: Feel squeamish about eating 2 doughnuts in one sitting? Carefully split one in half with a serrated knife to use as your bun. I don’t have this issue myself…!

Edited to add: Oh by the way, someone just asked in the comments if Mike liked it. Of course you’d want to know if it was Mike-approved. I’m happy to report that he loved every bite!

Edited to also add: I didn’t receive any compensation or product from Krispy Kreme — I just love ’em.

If you liked this post, please:
–Subscribe to Willow Bird Baking
–Follow Willow Bird Baking on Twitter
–Follow Willow Bird Baking on Facebook
–Give this post a thumbs up on StumbleUpon

Other ways to share this post with friends!

Foodbuzz 24×24: Cheap and Simple Taco Pockets

i sat watching a flower as it was withering;
i was embarrassed by its honesty.

-bright eyes

This is not a diary. I can’t smudge ugly, unfiltered thoughts into this blog and tuck it deep under a virtual mattress. This is a place for tidy stories that have fully played out in my life — or at least enough to have lost the raw, unfinished edge of uncertainty.

Otherwise, things just get sloppy.

But I’m going to get a little sloppy here for a bit: this has been the hardest year of my life.

I feel embarrassed saying that, because I know some of you are dealing with things that are so much harder, things that make my year look like a fairy tale. There are people right now losing their homes and carefully rationing their cash to afford the week’s groceries. So I hope you’ll forgive me my lesser struggle — that we can have the grace of being in different places and loving each other where we are.

For me, this year has been a mountain to climb — the air is thinning, and I’m not sure I ever wanted to reach the top in the first place.

Last November, as you may remember, I broke up with Mike, my boyfriend of almost 12 years. It took me two months to get up the gumption to write to you about it, but the struggle wasn’t over.

Month after month went by and I found I couldn’t get used to my new world, which had turned inside out and taken on a pallor. Daily life felt like stumbling through a thick wall of cotton. My grief became a dressing room in which I tried on all different Julies, searching for who I was without Mike. Everything I put on was too tight, too abrasive, too loose, too heavy.

Recently, though, a couple of you noticed and commented that I’ve been mentioning Mike here and there. It’s true — we’re slowly, carefully spending time together again. Feeling out the next steps. There’s just not time to waste when you love someone, and it feels like we’ve already wasted so much.

So there it is. This isn’t exactly a great time to tell you what’s up. This is not a diary, like I said, and I’m hesitant to share such a new, uncertain development. But first off, I know I’m among friends. Second off, Foodbuzz issued a 24×24 challenge this month that I knew I wanted to dedicate to Mike.

The 24×24 is usually an opportunity to showcase 24 fun dinner party ideas, but this month, Foodbuzz challenged us to create a meal using only pantry staples. Scraping together something passable from the pantry wouldn’t have been too hard; people do it every day for their families. But as I thought about what I usually have available — some ground meat, cheese, salsa, baking supplies — I realized I wanted to create something truly special.

One of Mike’s favorite dishes during our time together was a silly convenience meal. These Taco-Stuffed Crescent Rolls are delicious, but also based on a can of crescent rolls, for goodness’ sake. Nevertheless, I made them for him throughout our relationship as a quick way of saying, “I love you (and I want some carbs.)”

For the Foodbuzz 24×24, I invited Mike over and recreated this meal — this time with a homemade yeast dough. I wanted to turn my quick I love you into an earnest I love you. The things I took for granted, I can’t take for granted anymore, and I think he feels the same. What we’re working on between us is worth more than a can of crescent rolls. It’s worth adding flour bit by bit. It’s worth waiting the hour for the dough to breathe and rise. It’s worth the messy counter, the sticky shaping, the extra step of egg washing. I would slice avocados for years. I would clean my dough hook a million times over.

The beauty of this meal is that it’s homemade from scratch, but still simple and convenient. The recipe made plenty of dough for taco pockets with enough leftover to dress up as Apple Cinnamon Monkey Bread Sundaes (I’ll share how I did this in an upcoming post). Also, since you can prepare both dishes a day in advance, you have enough time to floof your hair and vacuum the apartment the day your long-lost boyfriend is coming over. Nice.

Oh, by the way, your fear of yeast called and told me to tell you it’s not working out. You’re just going to have to get over him. I’m stocking you up with simple yeast dough recipes so you’ll have a good place to start.

Speaking of good places to start, for me and Mike, this is as good a place as any. I don’t know how things will go, but no one ever does. I’m just going to hitch up my skirts and petticoats and keep on climbing.

I told you my secrets, now tell me yours. What new developments are coming your way these days?

Me and Mike via photobooth, a couple of years ago.

Cheap and Simple Taco Pockets

---

Recipe by: Willow Bird Baking (yeast dough recipe from Our Best Bites)
Yield: about 26 3-inch long crescent pockets, or 5-6 servings (or you can use half for pockets and half for making monkey bread!)

These Taco Pockets are pillowy yeast rolls filled with a creamy, cheesy, spicy Tex-Mex filling. I like to serve them with an array of accoutrements — sour cream, guacamole, salsa, and fresh cilantro. As a time-saver, you can wrap this cheesy filling in premade crescent rolls and bake per the package instructions, but don’t do it just because you’re afraid of yeast! This is a simple yeast dough that’ll help you conquer your fears. If you’d like, make taco pockets with half the dough and use the rest to make simple Monkey Bread Sundaes for dessert — two dishes for the price of one!

Dough Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups warm water (105-115 degrees – use a candy thermometer to check)
1 tablespoon sugar
1 tablespoon yeast
1/2 teaspoons salt
3-4 1/2 cups flour
1 egg and a splash of water (for egg wash)

Filling Ingredients:
1 pound ground beef
1 packet McCormick’s cheesy taco seasoning (or taco seasoning of your choice)
6 ounces cream cheese, softened
2-3 heaping tablespoons salsa
1/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese
sprinkle of cheddar cheese for the top of pockets

Directions:
Notes on making this in advance: There are two points at which you can stop this recipe and refrigerate it overnight. The first is just before the first proof. Instead of letting the dough proof, cover the bowl with plastic wrap and then a clean, damp cloth. Place it in the refrigerator for 1-5 days, keeping the cloth damp. When ready to roll, let it sit out until it comes to room temperature and doubles (about 2 hours). Another point at which you can leave the recipe overnight is after the pockets are filled and shaped. Instead of allowing them to rise another 30 minutes, cover them and refrigerate them overnight. In the morning, allow them to come to room temperature and rise (about 2 hours) before egg washing and baking.

Make dough: Mix the warm water, sugar, and yeast in a large bowl (such as in the bowl of your stand mixer, if you have one) and let it sit for 5-10 minutes until it foams. Add the salt and 1.5 cups of flour and mix. While kneading on a low speed, gradually add more flour (I added about 1 1/2 more cups) until the dough is pulling away from the sides of the bowl and barely sticks to your finger.

Spray a large bowl with cooking spray and place dough in the bowl for the first proof. Cover and place the dough in a draft-free place (many use the inside of a turned-off oven) to rise for 45 minutes or until doubled in bulk.

Make filling: While dough rises, brown ground beef, drain, and return to pan. Add packet of taco seasoning with a bit of water and cook until combined. In a separate bowl, combine cream cheese, salsa, and cheddar cheese. Add ground beef mixture to the bowl (which will melt the mixture a bit) and stir to combine.

Shape and Bake: Spray a cookie sheet with cooking spray or line it with parchment paper. Remove dough from bowl and place on a lightly-floured surface. I placed a damp, clean cloth over some of the dough while I tore off pieces to work with. Tear off golf ball sized portions (or maybe a little larger) and roll each portion out to about 1/4-inch thick (moving it around as you roll to ensure it’s not sticking, and reflouring your surface as needed). Use a large round cookie cutter (or a knife) to cut out circles about 3 or 4 inches in diameter. Spoon about 1-2 tablespoons of ground beef mixture onto each circle. Fold the circle over on itself, wetting and pressing the edges to seal. Poke each pocket with a knife to give it a steam vent, dust the excess flour off of it with a dry pastry brush, and place it on the prepared baking sheet.

Once all pockets are shaped, cover them with a clean dish towel and let them rise for another 30 minutes. When you have about 20 minutes left, preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Whisk egg and water together and brush over pockets just before baking. Sprinkle each pocket with a bit of shredded cheddar cheese. Bake pockets for 15-20 minutes or until golden. Let cool on sheet pan for a few minutes and serve warm.

Note: I received a stipend from Foodbuzz for creating this meal.

If you liked this post, please:
–Subscribe to Willow Bird Baking
–Follow Willow Bird Baking on Twitter
–Follow Willow Bird Baking on Facebook
–Give this post a thumbs up on StumbleUpon

Other ways to share this post with friends!

World’s Best Grilled Cheese (Sharp Cheddar & Caramelized Onions on Beer Bread)

You’ve been shipwrecked on a desserted — ahem, I mean deserted — island. Your food options are limited to a sandwich (minus the “wich” part) and a very peevish looking saltwater crocodile who doesn’t seem to want you gnawing on him. After awhile your beard begins to rival that of Tom Hanks’s in Castaway, only there’s no Wilson to keep you company.

You’re hungry. You’re alone.

You’re gonna die.

Okay, sorry; that was an unpleasant beginning for a post, wasn’t it? And there’s that big knife up there underscoring the point.

I promise it gets better. Well, not too much better — you’re still gonna die. But something amazing happens first!

One day you’re wasting away on the beach entertaining fond memories of pizza while chewing on a piece of driftwood. Suddenly, a tiny Tiki Fairy appears. You know this is probably a brief hallucination indicating that an agonizing death is imminent, but you indulge your brain and greet her.

What do you know, she has a surprise for you! Drifters who find themselves starving to death on her island get to choose one last meal. Filet mignon? Truffle burger? Mom’s macaroni and cheese? You name it, you get it.

Ah, the question! It’s been posed to everyone from 50 famous chefs to death row inmates: what would you want your last meal to be?

Photographer Melanie Dunea is the one who had the brilliant idea to email 50 great chefs this question and compile their responses in her book, My Last Supper. Some of the chefs go fancy: caviar and spit-roasted pigs would be in Gary Danko’s final spread. Others prefer simple, comforting food from their childhood: Marcus Samuelsson wants gravlax with a dill mustard sauce in his last hours.

Funnily enough, the death row inmates seem to divide along similar lines. There are cost (and other) limitations to ensure the inmates’ meals don’t become extravagant, but some still think big! One, for instance, asks for two steaks, two burgers, a sliced turkey breast, bacon, two baked potatoes, one chef’s salad, one ear of corn, one pint of ice cream, and four sodas. Others cling to small pleasures; one asks only for cool whip and cherries.

Personally, I’m torn. I want comfort food. I want my mom’s chocolate sheet cake, macaroni and cheese, and yeast rolls for sure. I want a pimiento cheese sandwich on white bread, Dad’s chicken and dumplings, and at least a dozen Coke Zeros.

But I also want luxury! I could go for some fresh lobster tail and fried softshell crab. I want a thick Wagyu rib eye. I want this cheeseburger. I want this ice cream sundae.

Can I also have some Chinese pork buns?

Oh, and one more thing. A grilled cheese sandwich wouldn’t ordinarily make my list, but this isn’t your average grilled cheese — it’s the World’s Best Grilled Cheese.

In fact, Sommer from Mama With Flavor (have you seen her blog? hilarious.) started all of my “last meal” daydreams when she responded to my tweet about this sandwich. She proclaimed it “last meal worthy.” And worthy it is: sharp cheddar cheese and sweet caramelized onions are piled high and toasted between two slabs of buttery, freshly baked beer bread.

Trust me, this sandwich would be a far better companion on your deserted island than any anthropomorphized volleyball. With the very first bite I took, I knew I’d struck genius. Lunch (or dinner, or midnight snack, or breakfast, or even dessert) just doesn’t get much better than this. And with a recipe for fresh bread that consists of only four ingredients, it doesn’t get much simpler than this either.

You know what I have to ask for my parting question — and I can’t wait to read your answers! What would your last meal be?

Sharp Cheddar, Caramelized Onions, and Beer Bread Grilled Cheese

---

Recipe by: Adapted from Catherine Bienik (beer bread) and Simply Recipes (caramelized onions)
Yields: one loaf of beer bread (up to about 4-5 sandwiches)

Bread Ingredients:
3 cups self-rising flour
scant 1/2 cup sugar
12 ounces beer (I used Guinness)*
3 tablespoons butter, melted

Caramelized Onion Ingredients:
4 onions, sliced thinly
salt to taste
olive oil

Other Sandwich Ingredients:
about two tablespoon of butter per sandwich desired
sharp cheddar cheese

Directions:
Make bread: Preheat oven to 375. Grease a loaf pan or line it with greased parchment paper. Mix flour, sugar, and beer until combined and pour batter into pan. Cook for 40-45 minutes, or until top is well browned and loaf feels firm (you can also stick a toothpick in; if it comes out clean, the loaf is ready). When the loaf is close to done, brush the top thoroughly with melted butter and let the loaf bake for 3 minutes. Remove to a cooling rack to cool for about 20 minutes before removing it from the pan and cooling completely.

While bread is baking and cooling, caramelize onions: Put a few tablespoons of olive oil into a skillet over medium-high heat. Once the oil is translucent and shimmering, add onions and cook for about 10 minutes, stirring every few minutes. Add salt to taste and continue to cook, stirring every few minutes, for 30 minutes to an hour. The goal is to let the onions sit long enough that they start to cook down and caramelize, but not to let them burn. If they seem to be sticking or burning at any time, you can do any of the following: add some more oil to the pan, turn down the heat slightly, or add some water to the pan. Once the onions are a rich brown, remove them to a container to cool slightly before use. Store extra onions in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

Assemble your sandwich: Once the bread has cooled, use a serrated knife to cut it into slices. In a skillet over medium heat, melt one tablespoon of butter. Place a slide of bread into the skillet and pile on sliced cheese and caramelized onions (note: you can brush the underside of the bread all over with melted butter first if you want to ensure even browning). Place another slice of bread on top.

Cook until the bottom slice of bread is well toasted (peek every now and then by lifting a corner) and then gently flip, using your hand to brace the top slice of bread as you do so. You can add more butter if your skillet looks dry, lifting the sandwich to allow the butter to run underneath. When both sides are golden and toasted, remove sandwich to a serving plate and microwave for 30 seconds to insure melty cheese. Repeat these steps to make as many other sandwiches as you want! Serve immediately.

*NOTE: I don’t drink, so I wasn’t sure what sort of beer to use. This recommendation from a friend was outstanding, though! For information about how much of the alcohol cooks out of a given dish, please see this chart. In this particular recipe for beer bread, only about 30% of the alcohol remains in the entire loaf after cooking.

If you liked this post, please:
–Subscribe to Willow Bird Baking
–Follow Willow Bird Baking on Twitter
–Follow Willow Bird Baking on Facebook
–Give this post a thumbs up on StumbleUpon

Other ways to share this post with friends!